My Reflection

I've been looking in the mirror for so long... that I've come to believe my soul is on the other side.

A picture can speak a thousand words… and portray our reality... 

Lisa felt flawed...she referred to herself as the "bad seed"... She was told that she was bad as a child and b/c of that she struggles to separate her behavior from her true self...  She spent most of her life trying to validate what see felt inside... She intentionally  made people dislike her.... By doing this she felt Loved... She's stuck with the words of her parents... She's stuck in time... B/c of this she's turned against herself...

Lisa kept adding layers on top of layers to her deceptions making it almost impossible to for people to see who she really was inside... Deep In her heart see desired to connect with life... She wanted to be loved for who she really was.... She didn't know her reflection...  She's been looking in the mirror for so long... that shes come to believe that her soul is on the other side. Life was smothering her... 

Return to Me Salvation

I tried to kill the pain… but only brought more…

The more we try to hide our pain the more we suffer… the more we bleed… Cry out to God and he will heal you and set you free from this pain and death…

Truth can be hurtful and uncomfortable... but it will cut out our disease... the lies... the betrayal.... the hurt.... Learn to endure the pain... face it and let it go... Without truth we lose ourselves... we become a different person so we can live in our lies. We betray ourselves. 

Penelope.... Had to stop fooling herself... she didn't have all the answers... and leaning on your her own understanding didn't work.... She moved out of her self-deception and got help.... She didn't know how deep her wounds were until she let God and others in... her bleeding eventually stopped...  

Self deception will keep you stuck… Think of ways you are deceiving yourself…. And stop… face the truth… your lies is what makes you bleed… Do you need help? If you  do reach out and ask for it. .. Truth is your inner experience… It’s not going to leave you… You can try to suffocate it but it won’t die… You can’t deny it’s subsistence…. If you want perspective... your truth will give it to you... rid yourself of your mask(s) and let God in....

~ Michael. PhDc, MS, Certified Life Strategy Coach

Broken Dreams

Penelope's Journal through Heart Break

I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years…and we just can’t make it work. These lyrics describe exactly how I feel… 

Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome …And I don't feel right when you're gone away…You've gone away; you don't feel me here anymore.

I’m so depressed. I lost trust and my ability to put hope in my future. I’m holding on to him…. I can’t accept it… It’s not over…. I don’t feel right…come back.

I tried so hard and I gave the relationship everything I had… I gave him my all and I lost myself in the process.  My fears overcame me… I’m drowning in suspicion… Will I ever break free? Is there a way out of this hell I’m in? I can’t breathe… I’m suffocating. Come back….


What about our dreams? What about our hopes and plans for a family? It's all shattered... 


I'm hearting myself trying to put this back together... should I leave it broken... 

Billy....

How will my heart heal when it knows only you…. You can’t take my pain away… are you in pain,,, I love you and I always will … I don’t feel right when you’re gone away….My love my angel give me your pain…. I miss you….

I’m so open I’m bleeding… dying inside…. God help me….

I want to breathe again.... I need to let go of these dreams... 

Dear God....

Please give me the strength to let go, help me to love again, dream again... I know this to shall pass... See me through... Fill the voids in my heart.... Help me not to focus on my disappointments... Give me the courage I need to feel and grieve so I can find out what will make me really happy... I know you can heal my broken heart ... but I need to give you all the pieces.... am I ready.... make me ready... Heal my shattered dreams.... 

50 Thousand Tears

Terry’s Reflections

I can’t keep going under… I offered no resistance…. I thought...Should I fight, scream, shout stop…. Will it work?

You’re so aggressive… I felt powerless… You were crazed… Inside I said stop… I opened my mouth and nothing came out… I think you thought I was okay with everything…. I was confusing the thoughts in my head…. And I can’t trust myself ….

Was I raped? I didn’t fight back!!!!!!

A Moment w/Coach

Many people like Terry feel this way when they get raped. They become confused about what to do. There in shock. Abuse can happen suddenly...Terry was intimidated by her abusers size. He was bigger than her. So she played possum. When she did that... she started think she was saying yes... In fact she was just surviving. She had no where to run, hide and no one would have heard her screams... so she had to submit... Her submission didn't mean consent....

Each time the abuse happened to Terry...another piece of her died. She's working hard to regain her Identity and Power .

She's using  Going Under to help her regain her power to confront her abuser...

A Bitter Sinking Feeling

Dear Wayward One….

You don’t have to feel condemned any more…. You’re in me now… let go… your free. I shed my skin for you…I gave you my best because I love you. Keep your faith so I can remain close to you…When you sink I will reach for your hand… will you reach back?

No one can hold your past against you… I don’t…I’ve forgiven you…Have you? I give you rest for your soul and spirit... I know what you need...I made you. I held you in my arms my “Wayward One”. I’m ready for you…

The world might condemn you I don’t… I’ve ruled in your favor… You have peace …just receive it. If you’re rejected… I will accept you… If they hate you… I will love you… Stop running from what you want… You don’t belong there… you belong with me… Come Home

                                                                       GOD

A Bitter Sinking Feeling

Dear Wayward One….

You don’t have to feel condemned any more…. You’re in me now… let go… your free. I shed my skin for you…I gave you my best because I love you. Keep your faith so I can remain close to you…When you sink I will reach for your hand… will you reach back?

No one can hold your past against you… I don’t…I’ve forgiven you…Have you? I give you rest for your soul and spirit... I know what you need...I made you. I held you in my arms my “Wayward One”. I’m ready for you…

The world might condemn you I don’t… I’ve ruled in your favor… You have peace …just receive it. If you’re rejected… I will accept you… If they hate you… I will love you… Stop running from what you want… You don’t belong there… you belong with me… Come Home

                                                                       GOD

Maybe I'll wake up

Don't want your hand this time - I'll save myself

We discussed this lyric in group today…. And it was enlightening… I realized that I needed to learn how to set healthy boundaries in my relationships. This last relationship I was in fractured me… I lost who I was and I’m realizing I need to get her back…

I use to be fun… open and full of life… but he drained it away from me and I let him… I’m to blame… I kept giving when I should have stopped…. He used me and I lost myself…. He couldn’t handle my love…

I want under b/c I gave into his moods and anger…. abusiveness… I thought my love would fix him… I just made him worse…

I've got to break through…. How?... I died again… 

Bring me to life...I'm living a lie...

Breathe into and make me real… Bring me to Life

Mary’s Dairy

It’s astonishing how fear and anxiety can change my personality. It can make me feel so powerless and weak. It can cause me to stay in situations that are unsafe; it prevents me from taking healthy risks to improve my life.  If I allow fear and anxiety to win over me I’m going to stay frozen in time…. Frozen in this relationship…

I’m allowing fear to block me from living my dreams; it’s growing bigger than my confidence. My worry doesn’t allow me to realize the reality I’m keeping myself in. I need to learn how to see my panic and fear as a challenge to push through it…. Every time I get out of the boat I sink b/c I lose sight of my faith… I take my eyes of the truth…

I need God to breathe life into my numbness. I need courage… I need strength b/c each day I feeling like a part of me is dying… I need God to reach down and pull me out of my misery… I need to learn how to rely on my faith so my fears will starve to death….

Today I decided to get my life back… to face my fears and rid myself of my excuses. I’m going to face him… and God will give me courage and nerve to see me through… I’m not going under. I’m special and I won’t let intimation or browbeating, daunting or terrorizing get me down… Enough…. Enough of the isolation, and imagination…

I’m getting myself back… Fear has stolen so much from me…. I’m not going to let it anymore…Wake me up… I’m done living a lie…. Bring me to Life…..

I've been so hollow...inside ~Pt1

Gina’s Dairy

I have to make a decision to deal with my pain. I feel so isolated and cold. I feel nothing. I’m numb inside. I want to cry but nothing comes out.  It’s been this way for so long. I’m letting you pull me down…. Though you’re gone…. It’s like you’re still here.

I did so many things that I didn't want you to do... hoping you would just go away... but you didn't... you haunt me. 

I keep all this buried inside. I can't move.... I'm stuck in time. Isolated.. Broken... Free me... I want to feel again.. I want to love again but you haunt me. I scream but nothing comes out... I let you why.... I was to young to know.... One day... maybe I can live again... 

Evanescence

Something Had to Be Done

When I first hear this song I was reminded of what Jesus did for me… for us. He gave me life. He gave me an opportunity to turn my life around.  

The wind is blowing cold…..Have we lost our way tonight?... Have we lost our hope to sorrow?

Jesus binds up our broken hearts and he sets us free from ourselves. He is hope, He is reconciliation, he is the great I Am. We all lose our way . Just like the wayward one.  We need a power greater than ourselves to restore our lives... to restore us to sanity. 

Are we every going to change... Can we stop the blood from running?

Something had to be done... Jesus took the punishment for me and you... we can't stop the blood from running over. Jesus knew all the pain we can inflict on each other, may it be physical, emotional or mental. Thats why he went to the cross. To end our suffering... Our time is running out, we need a better way... 

The wind is blowing cold

Have we lost our way tonight?

Have we lost our hope to sorrow?

Feels like we're all alone

Running further from what's right

And there are no more heroes to follow

So what are we becoming?

Where did we go wrong?

[Chorus:]

Yeah, oh yeah

I want to rise today

And change this world

Yeah, oh yeah

Oh, won't you rise today

And change this world?

The sun is beating down

Are we ever gonna change

Can we stop the blood from running?

Our time is running out

Hope we find a better way

Before we find we're left with nothing

For every life that's taken

So much love is wasted

[Chorus:]

Yeah, oh yeah

I want to rise today

And change this world

Yeah, oh yeah

So won't you rise today

And change

This world

Only love can set it right

This world

If only peace would never die

Seems to me that we've got each other wrong

Was the enemy just your brother all along?

[Chorus:]

Yeah, oh yeah

I want to rise today

And change this world

Yeah, oh yeah

Oh won't you rise today

And change this world?

Yeah, oh yeah

I want to rise today

And change this world

Yeah, oh yeah

I want to rise today

And change this world

Dedicated to Alter Bridge

Your music draws me closer to God

~ Michael, PhDc, MS, Certified Life Strategy Coach
www.proactivesolutions.org
WELCOME TO WHERE YOU ARE

"Tourniquet"

This is a letter from a person who was dealing with her sexual abuse as a teen. She used "Tourniquet" to help her feel and to deal with her anger toward God. 

Letter to God

I still can’t rely on my feelings. I hurt too much. My love and innocents was betrayed. Who am I? What am I? Were you there? Why didn’t you stop him? I cried to you, but you didn’t answer me? I needed you. To survive I had to block out my feelings. I needed to escape. I thought you loved me? Why? Why me? I'm so angry... homicidal... What do I do? Will I ever heal? My heart is broken into pieces. Will I ever heal my hatred toward you? I thought you were my Father? 

I feel so dirty. Cleanse me... Renew me... I have nobody to turn to... I feel like dieing.... I feel so powerless... give me strength...

~ Michael. Phdc, MS, Certified Life Strategy Coach

It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better Pt1

Tonight I wanna cry

Before you read this... watch Keith's video and ask yourself the following questions.... 

1. What do I think about when I listen to this song(people, memories)?
2. How do I feel when I listen to this song? 
3. What message(s) do I get out of this song?  
4. What does it inspire me to do or change?

"Would it help if I turned a sad song on"

Music does help us feel our hurt....  Many people that I come across need help with feeling their feelings and expressing their emotions. For some people feeling loss and pain is difficult b/c their not use to feeling. They hold them in or suppress them b/c they have a false belief that holding them in means self - control. Relationships end b/c of this. Maybe in hindsight he's realizing she walked away b/c he was emotional frozen and  unavailable.

Relationships survive when we keep communication open and when we share our emotions. Our emotions are our part of our identity. They let the other person know that their special, needed, appreciated.... Loved. They let your partner know what you need, want, like or dislike. 

"It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better"

If your broken it's best that you grieve. To grieve you have to feel your emotions. Allow yourself to cry. When you watch the video think about your soul... Is it cold? Empty? If your  pride is stopping your tears, get rid it  so you can cry and heal. Take today or tonight and cry.  

You have a broken wing right now so allow yourself to heal so you can fly again.Give your heart a chance to recover. It's going to take time and some adjusting but you'll get through it.  

Tonight I want to cry encourages us to....

1. Allow our negative emotions to surface. Experience every nuance of it.
2. Stop turning away from our negatives emotions.
3. Be more open with our feelings.
4. Let go of pride so we can heal.

~Michael. PhDc,MS, Certified Life Strategy Coach

Bringing Out Your Best Using Music: Purpose of this Blog
www.proactivesolutions.org

Purpose of this Blog

My Beliefs about Music

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons.  You will find it is to the soul what a water bath is to the body.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Music opens our soul and spirit. It inspires us to life according to what we value most. Music helps us to bring out who we really are and who we want to be. Music is the poetry of the air~ Richter

Purpose of Blog

Each song I use in this blog has special meaning to me.I either use it personally or with my clients. Henry David Thoreau once said, " Men (women to)profess to be lovers of music, but for the most part they give no evidence in their opinions and lives that they have heard it. My goal is to help you apply the principles, messages, meanings and life lessons I found in the song to your relationships, challenges, adversities, or to whatever it is that you might be facing in your life. 

Edward George Bulwer - Lytton said, Music, once admitted to the soul, becomes a sort of spirit, and never dies." This is so true. I remember lyrics to songs that I heard years ago like it was yesterday. My passion is to help people use music and lyrics to open their hearts so they can connect to God (Higher Power), others and themselves at a deep spiritual and emotional level. I believe musicians are messengers & angels used by God to inspire us, motivate us and to heal our soul and spirit with their words and music.

Some blogs are designed to help you find hope, motivation, empowerment, encouragement and inspiration so you can live your life EVERYDAY. 

Characters

I use names like Tommy, Gina, Jimmy, Billy Jean, and Joey to illustrate the message I want to give you in the blog. So I created a fictional story behind the character. In some blogs I use real people that I counseled and coached throughout the years.

These are my interpretations to the characters and the meaning behind the lyrics.  Keep your mind and heart open. Allow your imagination to flow. I think we can put ourselves in the shoes of these characters.

~ Michael. PhDc, MS, Certified Life Strategy Coach

www.proactivesolutions.org

THESE WOUNDS WON'T SEEM TO HEAL ~ Pt1

My Immortal

This song addresses so many issues that deal with relationships gone bad. So for now I’m going share how I used this song w/ a client that I used to work with and share some ways she recovered her soul. She used this song to help her recall the relationship and the pain that she was suppressing. 

Lori was in a very abusive relationship. She loved your boyfriend w/ all her heart and soul. She was there for him at the drop of a hat. Lori made many sacrifices for him, but she also made a lot of excuses for his behavior. 

I remember her telling me her life was a living hell. She felt like a child. She was was tired of her life. Lori was exhausted. Now the relationship was over for at least 6 months and she still felt this way. Her heart was severely fractured. She was haunted.  

Lori was continuing to punish herself b/c she had suppressed so much hurt caused by her boyfriend. She didn't know how to get her power back b/c she lost her identity. But her time has come to regain her life. She asked me to help her transform this part of her life and to turn her mess into a message. 

Lori's Story

I can relate to this song so much. I can identify w/ the part of the video where it shows Amy lying down and she had the stuff wrapped around her hands. It reminded of what boxers wear under their glove. See, I was done fighting for something that wasn't going to change. I did love him, but I stopped loving myself. I pulled away from all the people that really loved me. My beliefs changed. My values changed just to survive. I thought if I changed he would change to. It only made him worse & all I was really doing was cosigning his dysfunction.

"These wounds won’t seem to heal"

Mike wanted me to focus on the one line in "My Immortal" (These wounds won’t seem to heal). I realized that I wasn't healing b/c I was very guarded and defensive. I needed to learn how to let my defenses down. I was always protecting myself from the next heart break. But this was keeping me sick and broken. It was eating away at me to the point to where I was losing my confidence, worth and courage. My health suffered to. I was dead inside. My soul was locked in chains and I needed to break free. 

I had to take a look at all my mistakes and make changes. I had to stop blaming him. I knew he was sick. I accepted his pain as my own. When I took responsibility I felt my strength coming back. My power was slowly returning. I needed to forgive him and myself. 

Dedicated to Evanescence

~Michael. PhDc,MS,Certified Life Coach

http://www.proactivesolutions.org/

SHED MY SKIN

An Interview w/ the Prodigal Son ~Pt 1

Me: What took you so long to come to your senses?

PS: I couldn’t go home b/c I was so ashamed of myself. All I could think about was what my family would say; how my brother would treat me, react to me. I thought they would look down on me, so I stayed out there. I got the reaction I expected from my brother, but the reaction I got from my father… I didn’t expect. I broke is heart and that hurt me even more.

I saw myself as a loser, and flawed. I had everything but I wanted more. I wanted it all. I couldn’t control my impulses. I couldn’t let go of the thought that I should be punished for my sinful behavior.  I think this made me stay out there longer. The more I believed in my mind that my family would reject me the further I got into my addictions and the deeper I went into the abyss.

As far as God went, I convinced myself that He was done with me. Cut off. So I didn’t bother to connect to him. Come to find out I was living a lie.

I had to stop listening to the demons in my head and believing my imaginations. I had to own up to my behaviors and ask for forgiveness regardless of their reaction. I had to get right with God regardless, Mike. I sinned against Him and he is the only one that can restore us back to sanity.

My Thoughts on “Shed my Skin”

Life Application

When I heard the lyrics to this song I thought of the story of the prodigal son. Shed my Skin is a song about our need to change and our need to resolve our past. Living with regret only breeds depression and for some addiction. We need to come out from behind our masks and work through our past, our sins and bad choices. This is difficult for some b/c they feel like they won’t be received from family or friends. The fact of the matter is they might be right, but God is always at the end of the driveway wanting to hug us and to forgive us. God will love us back to repentance. He did it for the prodigal son and he will do for us. CLICK ME

I think the prodigal son was saying are you ready for me. I think he woke up each day hoping he would find peace. When he came to his senses he was thinking, “I need to shed my skin.” “I can’t go back.””I’m better than this.”

Dedicated to Alter Bridge

~ Michael. PhDc, MS, Certified Life Coach