Will I be denied

My soul cries for deliverance… will I be denied Christ

I feel so guilty, I hate myself, I’ll never amount to anything…. I must admit I hear this more often than not. So many people struggle to like themselves. Others find it hard to forgive themselves.

Brad had a lot of anger in his soul. I think there was a time that every other word that comes out of his mouth is negative. He was miserable. He told me one day that he hated himself because of what he did 5 years ago. For years he would rehearse his loss and what he should have done. Because of this he hated himself. Brad for a long time thought he was a loss cause.

Like Brad we have to make a decision to heal and to learn how to receive God’s forgiveness and to learn how to love ourselves.

Today I want you to …

• Give yourself a break…
• Laugh at yourself… develop a different perspective over your mistakes or flaws
• Ask God for forgiveness and receive it…. It’s a choice
• Love yourself unconditionally just as God does
• Take a look at the people in your life to see if their building you up or tearing you down. The people that are tearing you down try find some solutions to help you deal with it.
• Pick one thing that you don’t accept about yourself and start loving that side of you

   

Taking Over Me

If you ever experience any kind of trauma it’s not always easy to forget it.Taking Over Me is a great song to use when your grieving and trying to heal from a bad experience. 

You don't remember me, but I remember you

I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you

But who can decide what they dream, and dream I do

When were remembering painful times or trauma - may it be abuse, loss or unhealthy relationships, we feel all the emotions and powerlessness we experienced  at the time of the trauma or loss. This is normal and believe it or not healing. If we want to heal and regain our power we need to feel and remember what happen to us.

We will experience all kinds of emotions when we decide to deal with our pain and hurt. When Lynn was working through trauma and loss she experienced: sadness, love, and closeness toward her abuser. This was normal b/c prior to the abuse she had a special relationship with him. She loved him dearly.Don't be supervised if you experience mixed emotions. If your remembering your loss or trauma just feel your feelings... There is no write way of doing this ...just open the flood gates. 

~ Michael PhDc, MS, Certified Life Coach

Just Older

 Note to Self

• Getting old doesn't really matter as long as you’re happy and living your dreams…. As long as you’re loving God… others and yourself…
• Don’t be obsessive about aging… Focus more on your personality and character
• Make memories and enjoy were you’re at ….
• Be the best you can be… at whatever age…
• Take care of your mind, body and spirit
• Make a lot of friends and keep them
• Be content… Learn to like the bed you’re sleeping… if you can’t change the sheets
• Mark Twain once said… “Age is an issue of mind over matter.  If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.”
• Don't hate what you see
• Don’t spend too much time in the mirror especially if you’re going to be negative… age is a fact… gravity wins out…
• No regrets… just lessons
• Love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like no one is watching

Where are You?

Why does my heart ache? Was she an angel? Was she real? Did it even happen? I keep checking... why? I'm here where are you? My heart feels young again? It's sad.... Desire is strong.... but he won't let up... he keeps reminding me.... Stop... What does this mean? I love her... I really do? But my heart won't stop... Please stop... it’s wrong and you know it. Leave me alone....why now? 

I don't know you ... Are you just a test? Are you safe? Was it supposed to happen? I feel broken … why? Make it stop … it hurts… I don’t know you but I’m worried about you… You have my heart… Why?

Your smile... your laugh... Have we meet before? It felt like I've known you for a long time.... Why did I fall so fast? So sudden? Your eyes... I wanted to rescue you....I want your pain... I felt you deep in my soul... Why?  I don't feel the same... Is it a crush? It can't? Stop? Go away? Call.... 

Will I see you again? I feel lonely.... but I'm not alone? Are you protecting me? Where you my wake up call? Were you there to show me my weakness..... Now I'm pretending.... Who am I? I thought he died!!! I wanted your pain!!! Why? I don't know you... I don't feel right that your gone away.... I don't feel you here... I looked at the seat... my heart bleed... you weren't there... how bad I wanted to stay with you. 

Your eyes looked through me... my soul quivered... Why? I felt needed... special... 

I looked for you.... I got nervous.... I didn't know why.... I tried to hide it.... I played it cool.... You had to leave early.... Will you contact me.... should you.... Cause I'm broken.... I don't feel right.... I will... You don't feel me here any more.. 

I hope I see you in my dreams... I can't breathe